Why is it that I call Hope an anchor and Fear as being a weight??
I believe that Hope gives us a reason to go on living and fear can be debilitating or crippling, fear can either also be very real or very imagined
I thought that I would include the image below because they are words and feelings that are pertinent to the title of this blog and status.
There are many things that people hope for but also many things that people fear and dependent upon your mindset will determine the outcome. I believe that hope is the one thing that can keep us alive and fear is the one thing that can destroy us and dash our dreams and desires.
What is hope – I often think that Hope is really a dream or a desire to have a better future, a future that is so much different from your current situation, it may be a better paid job, better home life and relationship and family situation or it may just be the hope that the next day may be better than the day that you have just had.
Hope is our reason for living or at least it gives us something to cling on too.
Fear is either rational or irrational, we describe irrational fears as phobias, a fear of spiders for example is termed Arachnophobia – spiders are Arachnids in the animal world, generally they cannot harm you but some people go into a panic when they see one.
A rational fear may be the fear of going out after your home has been burgled, the belief is that if you leave the house unattended then you may be burgled once more.
Therefore our fears hold us back from reaching our fullest potential and can actually cripple us, they can also cause us to reach a point of no return. Fear of the unknown can cause a person to make many rash and totally irrational decisions which are or can be life threatening.
People have been known to take their own lives because they cannot see any light at the end of the tunnel, I know that in my last marriage I actually reached this stage towards the end and even though I tried I am so glad that I failed and I am still here to share my journey with others.
How then do the words Dream, Courage, Inspire and Harmony fit into this blog, I will explain it as I see it and although it may not be scientific, it works for me:
Dream – What is a dream, a dream is a vision of things being the way that you want them to be. You don’t enter a marriage with the thought and vision that it is going to go wrong and end in divorce. You think about the church being decked out in a wonderful array of colours, the service with lots of your friends and family in attendance all smiling and happy.
The perfect wedding dress, venue, ring and everything else and a lifetime of happiness, sharing and joy.
Therefore your dream is something to aspire to.
Courage – I always think of courage of standing up for what you believe in or taking a stand against those things that seem so unfair or unbalanced. It is having the heart to see things through to the end, there can be acts of courage even in the darkest of times, during world war 2 many people defied the Germans by saving Jews, Oskar Schindler was one of those people who saved over 1000 people from the death camps by having them work at his factories and even having them manufacture faulty weapons so that they could not be used. He wept because he ran out of money and didn’t have enough to do any more than he had done. He was imprisoned by the SS and risked death.
When the Titanic sank the bandsmen played as the ship went down without any thought for themselves, the last hymn that they are reported to have played was Nearer my God to thee. They could have tried to get on a boat but didn’t, a truly courageous act.
When I think of the word courage the thought that comes immediately into my mind is of someone who stands out from the norm, someone who defies convention and is driven by values.
Inspire – I truly believe that to be truly inspirational you have to have a degree of credibility or a very powerful, and persuasive message and way of communicating it to others.
After all it is more inspiring if someone has lived through the journey that you are embarking upon. Take life after a divorce, text books may tell us that we can rebuild our lives, meet someone new, start living again, enjoy life and be full of passion and energy, however we may not feel it but if you have someone telling you about their journey and how they have found happiness after a divorce doesn’t that give you more credibility.
Inspiration comes from many sources but a shared or mutual experience means a lot and carries a lot more weight.
Harmony – Harmony I believe comes into play when your heart and mind are in unison or when you are living true to your values. Inner turmoil which is in my view an opposite of harmony is where we are conflicted, it could be that we say that we value something as a quality and yet we may not be living by the absolute truth of it.
Harmony I think comes when the decisions that you make each and every day are in alignment with your core values and belief systems. Take the value of friendship if we say that we value friendships then we should make the time to nurture and nourish them, so if we have a friend ring us with a dilemma then we make some time for them, we may then after listening for a while ask them if you could ring them back or maybe meet up for a coffee but we are showing them that we value them. If we just put the phone down on them or appeared disinterested then we are going against our core belief and value.
In essence then and in summing up the reason that I say that Hope is the anchor is because it gives us something to hold onto and is part of our safety network. An anchor is used to hold a boat or a ship in position.
It allows us to do the same inasmuch as it gives us something to hold onto and steady our lives.
The reason that I say fear is the weight is because fear is immobilising, disabling and keeps us from reaching our true potential.
If you imagine carrying your own weight on your back or shoulders how difficult would it be to get through the day, I would imagine very difficult so imagine that weight was your fears, I can’t drive the car today I might have an accident, I had better not go on that foreign holiday the plane might crash or simply I can’t get out of bed today because I might have a bad day. Those thoughts are going to emotionally paralyse you.
I have written a few blogs now and I was frightened of the response that I might get, the fear of rejection, not being knowledgeable enough or good enough or not really knowing what to write, but as you face your fears and get through them your confidence grows.
Many of my friends know that I have a fear of snakes, I know totally irrational but it has come from somewhere, my partner’s son had a snake and we went to visit with him and his girlfriend one day. I didn’t feel worried the snake was in its tank with the lid on and then suddenly my partner’s son got the snake out and I froze, he asked his mum if she wanted to hold it and she did so I moved a little bit away from her and this really small corn snake and sort of went a bit clammy.
For some reason I suddenly found myself asking if I could hold the snake, What was I thinking had I gone totally nuts or something, but when I held it I felt that it was probably more scared of me than I was of it and I actually enjoyed the experience.
The most wonderful thing about fear though I have found in my experience is that fear can be a very powerful motivator and a catalyst for change.
If the fear of staying in your current situation is more frightening than the fear of the unknown then change is the only way forward.
I know because I have done it and I have been truly blessed and rescued by the woman that I love.