A childhood lost part 2- lessons learnt.

As I wrote about the years post my Grandfathers death to the point where I had left school, I have given some thought to the lessons learnt from that period of my life and I would like to share with you the readers of that post those lessons learnt.

1) I said in my first post about my childhood that those who love you leave you – actually I was quite relieved when my Grandfather died because he was no longer suffering or in pain, my sadness was caused more because of not being able to say goodbye properly 2) I learnt that I was quite strong in my own right and capable of surviving.
3) I didn’t have to depend on anyone for anything although I recognise that now in later life that to ask for help is not a weakness, I see it actually as a sign of strength but also of courage, the reason that I say this is because when you ask for help you are laying bare your vulnerabilities, not everyone that you ask will want to help you and some will take advantage in ways that you could never imagine.
4) I was a survivor.
5) I was resilient and could overcome any obstacle that was placed in my way, even today when I am placed with a problem I tend to look for a solution rather than focus on the problem.
6) Not everyone who said that they care really necessarily do, it is really a matter of being able to judge the character of an individual and see how they act towards you.
7) Expect nothing and you will never be disappointed.
8) Families can and will let you down – not every parent will be a good parent, I was fortunate to have people in my family who cared about me. Even today after making contact with my dad, I still struggle to buy him a father’s day card because of the wording on the front of the card or the verse inside which have so many glowing sentiments.
9) I was and still am a very determined person and although I have made many mistakes I do not let them define me. I worry about the mistakes that I have made but mainly that is because of the repercussions or the pain that I may experience whilst going through the lesson.
10) I had a tendency to back myself into a corner and often followed through upon the thought or the action without looking at the consequences.
A very real example of this was when I was living with my Aunt and Uncle, I had arranged to meet a young lady and take her home to meet the family, my Uncle wanted me to clean the windows and I didn’t want to be late meeting this young lady. The threat was that if I didn’t do the windows then I shouldn’t bother coming back to the house, you have probably guessed by now knowing me as you do, that I didn’t clean the windows and we sat in a bar talking through my options, fortunately my girlfriends family were willing to put me up.
Even before meeting Kath this is something that I would still do pretty much all through my adult life and was certainly how marriages number 2 and 4 happened.

Each lesson that we learn as we go through life either makes us stronger or weaker, is either a blessing or a curse but the sad truth is that we have to learn through experience.
My hope would be that we learn through experience but we don’t make the same mistakes that I did and be on a continual learning curve because of the same behaviour, problem, character trait or hang up that we have carried through this journey we call life.

Published by paulguisbournehiltonalifeworthgiving

I am a 56 years old male living for the last 5 years in Pembrokeshire West Wales in the UK. I have entitled this blog along with my Facebook page as A Life worth giving because when I was growing up I was taught that the only way to get on in life was to be selfish, not even sharing sweets, books, pens or anything. I moved into adulthood with very much the same view of life and entered in my teens a life of alcohol dependency, another very selfish trait, my drinking consumed every waking moment and I saw alcohol as both my best friend and worst enemy, the only real positive was that it never let me down. Life changed for me in 1997 in the month of April when I stopped drinking and started to awaken my feelings, I found that I actually enjoyed life, enjoyed feeling although it was hard and left me feeling vulnerable yet today I am at my happiest, in a very loving relationship and life is good. A life worth giving is about my journey through life but also about being selfless and serving others willingly and with an attitude of gratitude.

4 thoughts on “A childhood lost part 2- lessons learnt.

  1. Thank you for sharing these.
    Yes, sometimes when we share things, others can learn from our mistakes and avoid that particular type of disaster. Other times, they need to actually learn the lesson themselves in order for it to spark growth.This is something I struggle to accept when it comes to my children – but that’s mommy instinct. 😛

    Liked by 1 person

    1. I too no that feeling, my 35 year old is very much like me as I used to be and I so want to tell her how difficult the road is that she is following and how actually it leads to a very unattractive place and life but she knows best.
      I hope that you enjoy your Tuesday


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