Give me a reason

Good morning / afternoon wherever in the world that you are, from a glorious sunny day in Pembrokeshire West Wales in the UK.
I apologise for not writing for some time and as much as I can give you a million and one excuses, I can’t give you a reason for my absence other than to say that unfortunately life sometimes gets in the way.

Last year in particular was for me like so many others a bad year, next month sees the anniversary of my Uncle’s death, in May we cremated him and at the same time I was burgled and lost most of my worldly possessions, I then spent a considerable amount of time travelling to Manchester to spend time with my Aunt until those visits came to an end in September through no fault of my own.
I decided to take the opportunity of the burglary to review where I was and in August of last year moved address, I now call where I live home and I enjoy being here.

I started a new relationship which is now coming to a year old, we celebrate our first anniversary on Mothers day, the sun is shining and things have improved, life certainly isn’t perfect but we can’t achieve perfection.

SOME PHOTOS FROM THE LAST YEAR

Why the title,
I have spent quite a lot of time over the last year in particular with the usual, this time next week, next month, next year or even sometime in the future and things will improve, I’ll start doing the things that I enjoy, the gym, walking, meeting people, going out or staying in, my biggest priority was to enjoy life and living and have fun.
I found a lot of reasons not to do things, I don’t feel like, I don’t think that I would enjoy it, I don’t want to go out, I’m bored staying in, I don’t think that I would fit in, many many excuses not to do something all controlled by my thoughts, my self pity, my over indulgence in looking for sympathy, you like most of us have probably heard those and many other excuses.
In August of last year, I moved onto an estate which held a luncheon club every Thursday and a friend of mine suggested that instead of wallowing that I should grab the bull by the horns, I went and except for situations beyond my control I am a regular, I also do prize bingo every other Thursday at the same venue….. I should be careful what I say or commit to, I needed the reason, the reason was the awakening to the fact that if you want people in your life then you have to put yourself out there, life will still have its ups and downs, we may still face rejections and sometimes the things that we try may not be suitable for us, I tried a men’s group that focused on DIY and practical stuff, I can’t even draw a straight line , needless to say I never went back but that’s okay, at least I tried, what I have started doing though is short mat bowls and enjoying the camaraderie and friendships that are evolving.
I just keep looking and trying and never giving up on the dream of a better life.

Published by paulguisbournehiltonalifeworthgiving

I am a 56 years old male living for the last 5 years in Pembrokeshire West Wales in the UK. I have entitled this blog along with my Facebook page as A Life worth giving because when I was growing up I was taught that the only way to get on in life was to be selfish, not even sharing sweets, books, pens or anything. I moved into adulthood with very much the same view of life and entered in my teens a life of alcohol dependency, another very selfish trait, my drinking consumed every waking moment and I saw alcohol as both my best friend and worst enemy, the only real positive was that it never let me down. Life changed for me in 1997 in the month of April when I stopped drinking and started to awaken my feelings, I found that I actually enjoyed life, enjoyed feeling although it was hard and left me feeling vulnerable yet today I am at my happiest, in a very loving relationship and life is good. A life worth giving is about my journey through life but also about being selfless and serving others willingly and with an attitude of gratitude.

4 thoughts on “Give me a reason

  1. I like to think that inasmuch as life is full of adjustments, its also full of opportunities and that we have the time to take stock, evaluate and make changes, the fact that you have joined a knitting / sewing circle is a testament to you and your desire to make changes.

    I live in Milford Haven, which is in the county of Pembrokeshire West Wales in the UK, I live quite close to the sea and some very nice sandy beaches.

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    1. Hi Meg,

      No need to apologise, sometimes life gets in the way or people don’t necessarily receive notifications.
      I have had a pretty tough time recently which is why I haven’t done much blogging, I lost my Uncle and Aunt last year, suffered several setbacks in my personal life and ended up moving last August.
      I suffer from depression and anxiety and sometimes I withdraw from many things in my life, fortunately I am beginning to see an improvement in my health and wellbeing, just restarted my gym membership and am eating more healthily.

      I too think of you often and feel that I lose my connections by not putting in enough effort, with the blog though I sometimes wish that the people I follow I had has friends on Facebook for instance because I tend to find it easier to keep in touch.

      I hope that you are well and I too think of you often, I hope that things are improving in South Africa, I was thinking in particular about the rains, I know that its been some time since we spoke however I remember their being a drought.
      I also hope that both you and your family are staying safe and well.

      Thanks for your kindness and comments,
      Warmest best wishes,

      Paul

      Like

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